Spilling the Beans (Or Not)

What an incredible moment. 

Whether you've gone through the challenges of infertility or caught by surprise with the news, finding out you're pregnant can be an overwhelming flood of emotions. 

From here, the next step is to announce the news. Aside from your partner, the rest of the people you keep in the loop is entirely up to you. Your announcements are perhaps the first big decision you'll have ahead and you can choose to stick to tradition or go your own way. 

It all depends on your comfort level and how intimate you want the experience to be. 

Let's get personal. 

It's easy to lose track of yourself while you're pregnant and faced with all the challenges of keeping up with expectations. Sometimes it's nice to reel it back in and keep these moments for yourself. If you choose to keep things a little closer to home, it's no less special. 

If you're trying to keep this experience a little more personal, choosing to only tell your partner, immediate family or a chosen set of confidants is the way to go. If you want more of a celebration, go out for a special dinner or have a small gathering at home to celebrate. 

"Personal? No, we're renting a marching band!"

That's fine too!

Keeping things low key isn't for everyone! In fact, some new parents choose to throw full scale celebrations to announce the big news. Whether you're orchestrating a grand reveal or spreading the news on social media, it's your personal experience to share how you please. 

The most important thing to remember is that this is your experience above all else. 

Instead of feeling pressured to throw gender reveals, create creative ways to announce your family's new arrival or anything beyond, you should do what feels right to you. 

There's no written rule that you need to rush your announcement or go with the flow. When it comes time to grow your family, it's important to remember that you are in control and empowered to make the decisions best for you and your growing family. 

Postpartum Anxiety and Depression in Partners

Postpartum mood and anxiety disorders affect the whole family.

Bringing home a new baby is a transitional period and while families are settling in, partners may feel strained or even overwhelmed. The best defense for postpartum depression is support and with the strength and patience of you can overcome this difficult period. 

The physical and emotional recovery period can seem like a long road to navigate, but you'll stay on a good path when you and your partner stick to a plan of healthcare, support, and communication. Since these feelings aren't exclusively for the postpartum mother, it's a conversation that more new parents should feel comfortable having. 

How can partners develop postpartum anxiety or depression? 

For many spouses welcoming a new baby, the restructure of daily routines and roles can be a real shock. Some partners develop feelings of inadequacy when they feel as if they can't comfort their baby with the ease that the other parent can. For others, a combination of sleeplessness and stress can drive a wedge between parents. 

Postpartum depression is a hormonal imbalance for new mothers and some research has shown that this may be true in the paternal caregiver and partner as well. Some fathers experience a dip in testosterone following the birth of their child. When testosterone drops, it puts men at a significantly elevated risk for developing mood and anxiety disorders or symptoms. 

How can a healing mom keep their partner feeling validated?

Postpartum anxiety can feel like a mystery diagnosis and that is even more true when it manifests in a spouse. Since depression and anxiety isn't just a passing phase, it should be treated like an injury that need attention. Finding balance is a great first step. 

Balancing the Responsibilities 

Whether your partner is struggling with too much on their plate or not enough, talking about ways to balance out baby care is a good starting point. Aside from only communicating about the responsibilities at hand, parents should find ways to talk about themselves, their day, and have conversations that aren't baby related.

This can help bring you and your partner back to feeling like yourselves and even if you're feeding a baby while you do it, you're working on your relationship daily with reminders of why you fell for each other in the first place. Sometimes all it takes is genuinely asking how the other is feeling and asking what they need. Everyone needs something and for new parents that can be as simple as a cup of tea or a much needed nap. 

You aren't alone.

Seek the help of family, friends and loved ones. Reach out to your doctor, therapist, doula and childcare for guidance or help along the way. Most importantly, realize that developing postpartum anxiety and depression is not uncommon in new mothers or their partners. 

Where there's balance, there are more opportunities to nourish your emotional and physical health during this big new chapter. 

First Days Home with Baby

The day you've been waiting for has finally arrived.

You've waited almost 40 weeks to bring home your brand new baby and it's finally time to settle in at home as your first day as a family. The first few days for many new parents are the most challenging step of the process.

Hospital staff have helped you along the way and now you're on your own. 

This is where your doula steps in to help you fill in the gaps! 

You hear a lot about the different phases of pregnancy and birth, but what do the first few days of your postpartum period actually look like? What can you expect now that you're no longer expecting? How do I know what to do? 

We've put together a comprehensive guide to help parents navigate the first few days home, because unknown doesn't have to make you nervous.

Healing for Mom

For the recovering mom, the first day home is uncomfortable. If you had a vaginal birth, sitting, standing, using the bathroom or walking is tough on the body. With a cesarean, the incision site will be tender for several weeks and the first day home will call for lots of lounging and relaxing. A hot compress will keep your cramping manageable as your uterus begins to shrink.

Nursing

Nursing in the very beginning can be tricky. Every woman's milk supply is different and supplies usually mature between 36 hours and 5 days postpartum. During your second day home with baby, practice different latch positions to stimulate your milk supply. Getting used to latching can be uncomfortable at first, but the more often you try different positions the more opportunities you will have to acclimate, stimulate ducts and bond with baby. 

Umbilical Cord

The umbilical cord site requires a few weeks to heal completely. While the umbilical cord stump is healing it will dry out and eventually fall off. To keep the area clean and healthy, make sure it remains dry and not being irritated by your baby's diaper. Avoid using ointments or cleansers on this area, as it can cause some discomfort and even infection. Over the first week, your baby doesn't require a bath and a sponge cleaning is all they need for their sensitive skin.

Bath Time

After about two weeks, your baby should be ready to get their first real bath. The water should be comfortably warm, but not hot and a dash of baby safe soap is all you need for the small tub. While they're in the bathtub, keep a towel over the parts of their body that are not being cleaned so they stay warm. Using a cotton ball, gently wipe clean your baby's eyes, ears and creases around their neck. With your washcloth, clean in arm creases and their bottom from front to back. When you're all done and rinsed, bundle them up in a towel and get them changed and into a clean diaper and clothes. Use lotions sparingly for the first few weeks. 

SIDS Safety 

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)—when a baby unexpectedly stops breathing and dies in his sleep—occurs in 1 in 1,400 American babies each year, usually before 6 months of age. There is no known cause of SIDS, but research indicates that certain precautions lower the risk. 

Keeping your baby on their back while they sleep, with a pacifier and without bedding that could create a suffocation risk is a great place to start. Breastfeeding helps promote a strong immune system and keeping your little one away from cigarette smoke will lower the risks for serious upper respiratory infections. 

Meconium and Diaper Contents

For the first few days after birth, your baby's bowel movement will be sticky and greenish-black. This substance, called meconium, is perfectly normal! It's what filled your baby's intestines while they were in the womb, and once the body gets rid of it, their poop will look yellowish-orange and vary in consistency and texture.

After about a week (and for about the next six months), the consistency and frequency of your baby's bowel movements will depend on whether they're breastfed or formula-fed. Breast fed babies tend to poop less often as it absorbs more into the body, leaving less waste products behind. Normal frequency is a pretty broad range and infant bowel movements can occur anywhere from 6 times daily to once every few days. 

Don't worry, you've got this. 

While it may seem like a lot to take in at once, knowing what to expect in the first few days home with your newborn can give new parents a refreshing boost of confidence. Staying in close contact with your pediatrician, doula and lactation consultant will keep you feeling more empowered as you settle in at home with baby. 

Breastfeeding Essentials to Get You Started

Breastfeeding isn't always what it's cracked up to be. 

Luckily for the breastfeeding moms of our generation, we've got some gadgets that make things a little easier. The more resources you have at the beginning of your breastfeeding journey, the more confident you'll be as you reach your goals. 

Not all of the gadgets that made our list are high tech, some of these just lend a welcome helping hand. So grab your shopping carts and introduce yourself to some of your new "breast" friends. 

Healthy Mama Nipple Spray 

There's lots of controversy in the breastfeeding world about remedies for dry, cracked nipples. When expressing milk onto the area doesn't give you the relief you're looking for, many moms turn to over the counter remedies. Healthy Mama's "Soothe Those Suckers" nipple spray is a mess free alternatives to messy salves, oils and creams that just leave you feeling uncomfortable. This spray is 100% natural, vegetarian, hypoallergenic and totally fragrance free. Since it's so lightweight, entirely safe for baby and keeps germy hands away from those uncomfortable cracks and irritated area, it's the ultimate spray for any nipple discomfort along the way. Not to mention it also works great for dry skin, eczema and rashes. 

The Boppy Pillow

The Boppy is one of the most amazing marvels of our time. You can use this curved, comfortable pillow for just about anything, but the Boppy is specifically designed to help mothers improve their baby's breastfeeding position. Most breastfeeding discomforts come from improper latch and the Boppy pillow helps you support your baby's weight in different positions to get a better latch and stay more comfortable during feedings. They also come equipped with a washable cover in a variety of adorable colors and patterns. 

Bellema Effective Pro Double Electric Breast Pump

Not all breast pumps are created equal. Some pumps on the market are priced high and don't offer the versatility that makes pumping more comfortable. The Bellema Effective Pro is one of the most comfortable pump units on the market with adjustable suction settings to find the one that works best for you. It's very easy to clean and hygienic with an anti-backflow closed system. The unit is lightweight and battery packs can be purchased separately so you can take your breast pump neatly on the go. For value and efficiency, this little guy is top rated.  

Kiinde Breast Milk Collection

Whoever coined the saying "Don't cry over spilled milk" has never accidentally spilled some precious ounces of breast milk.

The Kiinde breast milk system gives parents a convenient way to collect, store, warm and serve pumped breast milk. These pouches are super sterile and with the set's storage system and warmer, there's no more transferring milk to different containers like a scientist in a laboratory and running the risk of spilled milk. They're also very sleek, stylish and modern for a little extra flare to your pumping routine. You can pick up this set for around $100 from the Kiinde website and in the breastfeeding world, that's just a drop in the bucket.

These pro picks are a great place to start. 

Whatever tools you choose to get yourself started, your comfort should be a top priority and that might take some time to find the products that work best for you.

Family Friendly Fall Events in Portland

With September making it's grand appearance, Maine families are shifting gears to welcome the sights, sounds and celebrations of fall. 

From Oktoberfest to apple themed everything, September's weather makes it the ultimate autumn adventure. Not to mention it's a nice break from the chaos of the back to school season. 

There's no shortage of fun festivals, fairs and things to do in the greater Portland area. So gather up the family and check out some of these fun festivals to kick off the fall! 

Here's some of the September and October events in the Portland area that we can't wait to visit. 

Maine's Pumpkin Trail

From Labor Day through October, celebrate the arts, history and giant fruit with the Maine Maritime Museum, Farnsworth Art Museum, Boothbay Railway Village and Damariscotta Pumpkinfest and Regatta. Maine's Pumpkin Trail covers 50 miles of Maine's most charming coastline and features cruises, train rides, giant racing pumpkin boats, parades, street art, flying & smashing pumpkins, and events for the entire family. Who says September is too early for pumpkins? For more information you can visit their Facebook page. 

Fall Foliage Festival

 Every Columbus Day Weekend the Museum's Village Green welcomes dozens of vendors of handmade items and fabulous food along with a wide variety of live entertainment at the annual Fall Foliage Festival. The sound of the train's steam whistle resonating throughout the crisp fall air reminds guests that this is not your typical craft show. 

Rides on the narrow gauge steam train and the opportunity for guests to explore exhibits detailing Maine's railroad heritage, interpreting village life, and displaying more than 60 antique automobiles set this event apart. Artisan demonstrations, live music and a children's corner adds to the fun of this family tradition. Sign up to enter the Pumpkin Carving Contest with lots of really great prizes for all ages and abilities. It's just $5 to register per person and that includes admission and your 10 to 12 pound pumpkin to carve and keep.

Swine & Stein Octoberfest

The annual Swine & Stein Octoberfest is a trifecta of beer, food, and music. Last year, a beer tasting showcased the incredible diversity and quality of Maine craft beers. In celebration of local Maine agriculture, fine restaurants and local food vendors from Gardiner and across the state served up a variety of interesting culinary dishes featuring local pork along with other quality menu items. Adding to the festivities, a line-up of favorite and emerging Maine bands entertained throughout the day. A unique array of games and activities, with some fun fall prizes.

Don't miss out on this outdoor festival in the setting of one of Maine's most charming main streets! In addition to beer, pork, and music, there will be a number of ongoing activities, including in past years a chicken fling, frozen T-shirt race, and the annual Maine rock, paper, scissors championship and the annual Gardiner Beard & Mustache Competition. This family-friendly event also offers pumpkin carving and other children's activities. 

There's so many events popping up in Maine over the next few months we can't pick just one.

The Portland area is at the forefront of the food, music and craft boom in the northeast and the changing of the seasons truly gives them an opportunity to shine. Whether you're local or just visiting, you'll have tons of opportunities to kick off the fall to the fullest.