Sleep Shaping Basics

Sleep matters, no matter how small you are. 

While you might think that your newborn's sleep pattern is way out of sync with the rest of the world, sleep training techniques work alongside your baby's developmental milestones to encourage self soothing and a better night's sleep. These patterns begin immediately and become more fine tuned in the first few months of life. 

Sleep counselors and professionals recommend holding off on sleep training until the recommended 4-6 months of age.

While official sleep training takes the back burner in the first few months, sleep shaping is a different approach that parents can implement from the very beginning. Sleep shaping is a great precursor to help parents better meet their sleep training goals when the right time comes. 

When can you start sleep shaping? 

Sleep shaping begins early from birth to the first eight weeks. As babies get confused with day and night patterns, a great way to get their circadian rhythm developing is to expose them to daylight during the day and keep their space dark at night. 

After Eight Weeks

Around 8 weeks your baby will likely become more attune to their environment, show sleepy cues in the evening, alertness during the daytime and begin smiling at different stimulations. At this point, getting your baby used to being in their crib is a solid foundation for your later sleep training routines. Your baby will begin to create cues that they're getting sleepy and will associate their nursery with sleep. This is a step that is all packed into formal sleep training regimen.

Sleep Cues

In the evening between 6 to 8 weeks, your baby will start to send you cues to let you know it's bedtime. These can be as subtle as rubbing their eyes or as dramatic as an after-dinner temper tantrum. Pay close attention to these cues and you'll begin a night time routine that will sync at the same general time each day. While your baby at this stage will have inconsistent times they get tired, the consistency is key in establishing that foundation. 

How is sleep shaping different?

Sleep shaping shouldn't be confused with sleep training. Sleep training often requires specific methods to base your schedule off, while sleep shaping is a gentle introduction of different comfort measures and bedtime routines for an infant younger than 6 months.

Sleep shaping principles are established by a different set of developmental milestones than at the six month age group. Sleep shaping parents are concerned with trying different comfort measures, bedtime routines and learning what works best for their family. 

Sleep shaping is a unique opportunity for parents to bond with baby and gently introduce bedtime routines. 

Any practice is good practice and in these early developmental phases. Routines are flexible and forgiving and parents can try different bedtime strategies that they are most comfortable with or that feels best for their unique family. A sleep shaping routine can help create the framework that will jump start a formal sleep training regimen when the time is right. 

Until then, enjoy bedtime and every little experience along the way!

Recognizing the Signs of Postpartum Depression

Settling in at home with baby is an emotional process. 

While postpartum depression doesn't happen for everyone, it's more common than you might think. Over 600 thousand women develop postpartum depression each year in the United States.

Everyone's body is unique and even if these symptoms don't develop immediately, mothers can develop postpartum depression a year or more after their baby is born. This emotional stress can manifest in anxiety, OCD, depression or even psychosis. 

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

There are incredible resources for parents experiencing postpartum anxiety and depression that can be accessed easily and privately online. Postpartum Progress has an impressive index of resources and articles for new mothers and partners that are feeling this emotional strain. 

Here are some major signs that the way you're feeling is more complex than the baby blues.

You are Overwhelmed

You feel overwhelmed. Not like “hey, this new mom thing is hard.” More like “I can’t do this and I’m never going to be able to do this.” You feel like you just can’t handle being a mother. In fact, you may even be wondering whether you should have become a mother in the first place.

You Feel Guilty

You feel guilty because you believe you should be handling new motherhood better than this. You feel like your baby deserves better. You worry whether your baby can tell that you feel so bad, or that you are crying so much, or that you don’t feel the happiness or connection that you thought you would. You might feel guilty that you're spending so much time on how you're feeling and not spending enough attention to your baby.

You Don't Feel Attached

You don’t feel bonded to your baby. You’re not having that mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines and you can't understand why. Not everyone with postpartum depression feels this way, but many parents do. 

Your Sleep Pattern is Disrupted

You can’t sleep when the baby sleeps, nor can you sleep at any other time. Or maybe you can fall asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep no matter how tired you are. Or maybe all you can do is sleep and you can’t seem to stay awake to get the most basic things done. Whichever it is, your sleeping pattern is completely out of sync and it’s not just because you have a newborn.

You're Feeling in Extremes

You feel irritated or angry. You have no patience. Everything annoys you. You feel resentment toward your baby, or your partner, or your friends who don’t have babies. You feel out-of-control rage. Or you just feel nothing; emptiness and numbness. Sometimes this can feel like being stuck in a continuous cycle.

Speak up and out about how you're feeling, even if it's difficult. 

It might not always be easy to talk about your feelings, especially when they feel overwhelming or like something you can't justify. Opening the line of communication can help you find the resources and support you need to nourish your emotional health during the postpartum period.

Here are some major signs that the way you're feeling is more complex than the baby blues.

You are Overwhelmed

You feel overwhelmed. Not like “hey, this new mom thing is hard.” More like “I can’t do this and I’m never going to be able to do this.” You feel like you just can’t handle being a mother. In fact, you may be wondering whether you should have become a mother in the first place.

You Feel Guilty

You feel guilty because you believe you should be handling new motherhood better than this. You feel like your baby deserves better. You worry whether your baby can tell that you feel so bad, or that you are crying so much, or that you don’t feel the happiness or connection that you thought you would. You might feel guilty that you're spending so much time on how you're feeling and not spending enough attention to your baby.

You Don't Feel Attached

You don’t feel bonded to your baby. You’re not having that mythical mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines and you can't understand why. Not everyone with postpartum depression feels this way, but many parents do. 

Don't hesitate to take control of your emotional well being. 

While it can be difficult to speak up when you're feeling emotionally strained, it's an important part of seeking the support you need to manage your emotional health.  Recognizing the symptoms of postpartum depression is an important defense for new parents to identify what they're feeling and empower them to seek help.

Feeling Back-Burner After Baby

During your pregnancy, it's all about you.

People are constantly worried about you, your comfort and seem to be aware of your every need. When it comes time for your baby to arrive, that all changes pretty quickly. 

The focus shifts instantly away from the needs of the mother and all support is projected onto the baby. What many mothers aren't prepared for is the absence of the support and care they need to heal and recover. Your baby looks fragile, but it's really you that needs some extra help.

This absence of attention or support can really put a damper on a new mother's emotional well-being. 

While you're pregnant, you're tripping over all the people trying to help you or make you comfortable and now it's a lonely ghost town these days. Your baby is in the spotlight and as much as you're happy that people are swooning over your newborn, you can't help but wish you could get some attention yourself. It can feel defeating. You did all this hard work giving birth and now it feels like you're on your own to recover. 

You're not alone! 

This feeling is more common than you'd think. It's easy to internalize these feelings because of how silly or selfish they sound in your head, but speaking your mind is important once baby arrives. This is still your show and when you tell family, friends and your partner how you're feeling you can be on your way to feeling more supported and confident.

This falls in the realm of the baby blues and if it's left to develop, it can manifest into something more serious like postpartum depression or anxiety. 

Chances are, your family and your partner don't know you're feeling this way but it doesn't make it any less important. 

The postpartum emotional recovery is just as important as the physical recovery. You wouldn't take your postpartum recovery into your own hands, so why navigate all these emotions on your own? You aren't on the back burner now that your baby is here, you just need to remind people that you still need support and a helping hand.

Set your standards and set them high. 

Don't hesitate to feel empowered in the days ahead to speak your mind and seek the support that you deserve.

What to Expecting When You're Postpartum

When you're expecting, you'll likely receive plenty of updates about how your body will be changing, but what in the weeks after you give birth? 

Pregnancy and childbirth is an incredible transition for a human body to go through and since it is a journey that takes about 40 weeks, recovery is a slow and steady road to navigate. Early postpartum is the beginning of the recovery as your body transitions and heals. During this phase, your body transforms to provide nutrients for nursing and develops energy stores to help you acclimate and keep up with the baby care in the days and weeks ahead. 

Professionals have nicknamed this period as the "fourth trimester" for a reason. 

Similar to the changes you experience during pregnancy, the postpartum body is ever evolving. These changes are both physiological and emotional and are significantly impacted by hormonal spikes and drops. This is not unlike pregnancy and just as your body harnessed the power of your hormones to accommodate your growing baby, it uses similar hormones to bring you back to an "upgraded" version of your pre-baby state. After birth, your body flushes oxytocin to encourage the uterus to contract and begin to shrink down in size. 

It can take as much as six weeks for your uterus to contract back down to it's pre-pregnancy size. After delivery, your uterus can weigh nearly two pounds or more and by the end of six weeks, this organ will have shrunk to a petite 2 ounces!

Postpartum Discomforts

As you're recovering from birth, the healing process comes with it's share of obstacles. Back pain is common as your body gets used to adjusting your posture now that you've lost a whole baby's amount of weight. Birth is traumatic on the pelvic floor and can continue to be uncomfortable for several weeks postpartum. Many new moms use ice packs and cold compresses to relieve tenderness. 

Postpartum Perks

Not every change you experience during this recovery is uncomfortable! Many women report increases in energy levels and even improvements in skin tone and texture. If you experienced breakouts, acne or skin rashes during your pregnancy, the hormone changes during your postpartum recovery play an important role in clearing up your skin. 

Unexpected Postpartum Changes

With hormone boosts like relaxin, ligaments and tendons relax and that's not exclusive to abdominal muscles! Some women even report that their shoe size increases a 1/2 size as the arch of their foot is slightly relaxed after baby. Breasts are expected to get larger, but sometimes they even get smaller! Especially for breastfeeding mothers, breast size will often decrease and shape will change as well. Some new mothers report drops in sex drive while others are surprised with a spike of sexual energy even before their 6 week checkup arrives! Maybe it's hormones or maybe it's just the way your partner gets up at 3am to change the diaper so you can sleep. You be the judge!

The moral of the story?

Bodily changes don't stop at birth! 

Your body is at the helm of some big physical and emotional changes. Understanding what lies ahead and what changes you can expect can help you feel confident and in control as these changes appear.