Birthing Together, Just The Two Of You

Whether you choose to have a Labor Doula as a part of your birth team, or not, there is a chance that you and your partner will be birthing together, just the two of you, for at least some of your labor. 

Many couples who choose not to have a doula at their birth are met with the shocking realization that for the most part they will be birthing together, alone. See, real birth isn't like T.V. or movie birth, where there are tons of bodies in and out of the room through out the entire process. With the exception of routine nurse checkups, as you labor, you're mostly on your own. 

Bringing new life into the world is a magical moment and many expectant parents choose to welcome their bundle of joy with as much privacy as possible. We have put together this blog to give some guidance to those who are choosing to birth with their partner, alone.

First we suggest some preparation. Sitting down together and writing a birth plan will allow you and your partner to be on the same page prior to the birth. You can write what your 'idea' birth looks like, and what alternative routes you are willing to take if things don't go as planned. 

We also like to recommend couples who are looking to birth alone look into Maternity Concierge Options. 

We're here to help you prepare for laboring at home, and what it's like when you arrive at the hospital. We're here to discuss your goals for your cesarean birth, natural birth, birth with medication, or your wait-and-see birth. We'll come to the comfort of your home for an opportunity for relaxation and comprehensive discussion to cover all the topics that are on your mind and the ones that aren't. We help with "what you don't know you don't know".

For more information on Main Doulas Maternity Concierge Services, be sure to contact us today. 

Continuous Labor Support; Clinically Recommended

Labor support is more than hype, it's clinically recommended.

It's no mistake that cultures all over the world have childbirth traditions strongly rooted in supporting women physically and emotionally during labor.

A strong support system is fundamental in successful and comfortable birth experiences. 

Even though it seems common knowledge that when it comes to birth, the more support the better, medical foundations and organizations are now recommending support services to their patients. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists now recommends continuous labor support to decrease the number of cesarean interventions during labor. 

ACOG also concludes that continuous support during childbirth improves the quality of the birth experience, creating a safer and more nurturing atmosphere for the mother in labor and the newborn. Labor doulas are one of the leading providers of such supplemental support during childbirth, creating safer and more nurturing environments for birth. 

This birth support can be both physical and emotional. 

Your labor doula is actively engaged in your physical well being during labor, providing comfort measures and natural pain relieving techniques. Regular massage and stretches encourage the mother's body to assume the correct form and position for labor, typically making the experience more comfortable and shorter in duration.

Emotionally, a labor doula provides continuous support with affirmations for the mother through phases of contractions and pushing. Mothers who utilize doula services are empowered to take charge of their birth experiences and make changes to their birth plans as they see fit. Doulas provide an experienced and encouraging presence to calm parents throughout every phase of labor. 

The birth experience is changing for the better. 

The role of support systems like labor doulas is being elevated and becoming an industry standard to have additional support for women in labor. The environment of hospitals and birthing centers are becoming more nurturing spaces that are effectively balancing safety with comfort. Having labor doula support is not only empowering, but incredible peace of mind for new and veteran parents alike. 

We support you.

We encourage all of our expectant parents from the very beginning. From crafting a birth plan that suits your needs to continuous support throughout your child's delivery, we are creating more comfortable birth spaces. 

With our labor support, we can decrease risks for medical interventions and reduce the chances of unplanned cesarean surgeries. 

Vaginal Birth After Cesarean 101

One of the most beautiful things about childbirth is no two experiences are the same. 

With that also comes it's fair share of challenges and uncertainties to navigate while you anxiously await the arrival of your second baby. 

If your first birth was a cesarean, or even the first two, a little additional planning and preparation can put you at ease if you're planning for a vaginal birth this time around. 

Preparation

Preparing for any birth can be intimidating and putting yourself at ease is a great first step. Gather together a good support system and birth team will keep you feeling confident about the process ahead and informed as you move forward. 

Your labor doula can help you with the resources and education you need to prepare and craft your birth plan. Pursuing a vaginal birth after one or a series of cesarean deliveries can be a really emotional decision. Your labor doula will be there every step of the way offering you and your partner both physical and emotional support.  

During labor you should plan comfort strategies with your doula to help you stay as comfortable as possible. Writing your birth plan will be an important part of the process and your team can help you identify what steps will work best for you if you are avoiding medical intervention or cesarean for your next child's birth.

Choosing a Care Provider

As with any birth experience, choosing the right care provider and birth location is important. If you've taken the time to familiarize with your birth center's staff and your team, you'll feel a lot more comfortable. Communication is key and discussing your birth plan with your midwife or physician ahead of time gets everyone on the same page with your expectations and what medical interventions, pain management and delivery strategies you have in mind. From here, your birth team can give you more details about potential tests to avoid or other labor styles that could complicate your vaginal delivery or increase risks. 

Some hospitals don't support VBAC and others have a strict candidacy process to identify whether or not your body can safely deliver your baby vaginally. Choosing the right provider will mean some conversations about your birth goals, your last birth and your current state of health. Safety should be your common ground and different elements on your plan will fall into place. 

The Time Line

How long should you really wait between your cesarean birth, getting pregnant and choosing a vaginal birth (VBAC)? 

Your postpartum doula can help you establish a recovery routine after your cesarean birth and give you some insight about what to expect postpartum. Most care providers would recommend waiting six months to a year of recovery. Remember that a cesarean is a surgical procedure with incisions and muscle trauma that takes some time to completely heal. The more time you allow your body to heal, the stronger you'll be for your next birth. While recovering, pelvic floor strengthening exercises can help your next vaginal birth be more comfortable and even shorter in duration.

With a little preparation and a great support system, your vaginal birth after cesarean can be a successful experience. 

Baby-Proofing Your Marriage

Bringing home a new baby can be emotionally and physically challenging. 

But the challenges don't end there.

Your relationship is one of the areas that tend to need the most TLC when you're adjusting to life as a new family. 

In the awesome book Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill, and Julia Stone is an awesome guide to the different challenges parents will face along the way. 

They cover everything from in-laws to intimacy, to help couples who might be struggling to reconnect and maintain their spark. 

“Telling a mother who has a child and work commitments to chill out is like telling a nuclear engineer not to worry about the leak in the reactor he has been sent in to fix.”

We plucked a few of our favorite "stages" and words of advice from the book to throw some refreshing tips your way to living happier as a married couple with kids.

The Initial Fear

Once the hospital sends you and your new baby on your merry way, the panic sets in. There's a moment when parents look at each other terrified and admit that "they're not so sure they can do this." A bunch of irrational fears and paranoia start to drive the wedge between parents.  

The Parade

Luckily the first few weeks are anything but lonely, with a parade of friends and relatives coming in and out of the house to lend a hand with the baby. Like all good parades, this too will come to an end. Once the relatives leave, parents are back to square one and have to figure out what to do next. Talk about stressful. But knowing what to expect in your first few weeks postpartum will help parents relax and work together as a team. 

New Job

Sometimes a new baby feels less like a joy and more like a full time job. Your boss just happens to be a very cute but relentlessly needy new baby. New parents are prepared for some sleepless nights, but it's one of those things you just don't know what it's like until you're on the front lines. When parents are tired, they're stressed and consistently cranky. A cranky spouse is sure to build quite a divide in the relationship, making the first few months particularly tough.

Explosive Fights

Remember when fights were as cute as what to eat for dinner or why you didn't get a call back right away? Those days are long gone and most arguments from here on out tend to be a little more aggressive. The stress of transitioning into roles as parents can create a lot of tension that makes communication more important than ever. 

It's a crazy journey, but an amazing one.

The Baby-Proofing Your Marriage book is an awesome read for any parent who might be feeling a little stressed out as they settle into life as a brand new family. 

The First 40 Days Postpartum Survival Guide

Extended maternity is an absolute luxury.

In some cultures, mothers traditionally stay close to home for an extended period after their baby's birth. In Sweden, new parents are eligible for 480 days of leave that includes 18 consecutive weeks of postpartum leave at 80 percent of their salary! The rest of their days are theirs to use as they see fit. 

The United States offers new mothers 12 weeks maternity leave and it is entirely unpaid. Only certain employers offer paid maternity leave and it usually comes with stipulations. 

Statistically, mothers that don't receive compensated maternity leave are more susceptible to postpartum depression and anxiety. Without the luxury of extended maternity leave, paid or unpaid, mothers definitely need an extra set of hands. 

This is where your postpartum doula saves the day. 

There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding the doula profession and many families don't even know what we can offer families that are expecting a new baby. 

Postpartum doulas are by your side to nurture you and your entire family as you make the transition home with your newborn and begin the healing process. Different from a midwife's role, we are in the home paying close attention to make sure the mother is right on track with her postpartum recovery and keep everything running smoothly around the house and with the rest of your family. 

The first six weeks are the most challenging and your doula team is there to cut back on the stress of acclimating to your new baby responsibilities. 

We're on your schedule and customize our care plans to suit your specific needs. We work with the way you parent to encourage parents to learn baby basics and gain confidence in those precious first weeks. Since we offer overnight care, sleepless nights for new moms are things of the past. Sleep is incredibly important for postpartum mothers as they regain their strength, begin a breastfeeding routine and heal from birth. We'll take over newborn care in the evening to encourage mothers to get a peaceful and restful night's sleep they can count on. 

Getting your little one on feeding and sleeping schedules can be difficult with the "back to work deadline" looming overhead. Your postpartum doula comes with a little extra peace of mind that you'll be on a healthy schedule for pumping, feedings and naptime no matter how soon you expect to return to work. 

Your maternity leave may be short but it doesn't have to be stressful. 

A good support system is crucial for any mother bringing home a new baby and your postpartum doula is there to give you the help you need every step of the way.

After all, teamwork makes the dream work.